Advice Desperately Needed!!

[][D ][ ][V][ ][D]

been with a gyal for 18months now. both at same uni, practically live together, her mum and my mu know about it. everythins was all good, few arguements (all r'ships do). she went back home fr summer, it was her mates bday n she was havin a house party. my gal went to it, told her dad she'd be 5mins, just to drop a card off. she ended up stayin for a few hours, dad was callin her fone but was apparently switched off when she coulda sworn it was on. she got home, dad started switching, calling her a $lag, $lut etc and he hit her. he's not usually this type of guy.
now my gals propa shocked by it, says she don't wanna be in an r'ship until her dads ready for her to have a boyfriend which is this time next year when she graduates. obviously i love this gal ALOT,i was tellin her that it can't go out like this, we've been through alot together. i'm goin away soon on holiday and she said she wants her space from me until then. and then once i get back she'll have a decision of wether or not she wants this r'ship to continue.

i find it soooo hard not talking to her, it's only been about 4days and im goin through major depression, throwing up, not eating or sleeping. even then i still txt her n call her but then she'll remind me that we shouldn't be tlking.

what the fcuk do i do??
how can i get her back??

[Bengali4Life]

mate all you can do is give her time and her own space....I am really sorry to hear about her dad hitting her. Just remind her that you are still waiting and wont give up. I know the feeling about being in love with someone and the other person want there own space....If its meant to be then just give it some time
Another thing just do other things like chill with your guy mates and go out and have fun with them like playing pool, going clubbing so that way you can get her out of her mind....But do text or call her once in a while so she knows you are thinking about her. Good luck mate, I know it will be hard but she give it some time

[Tozzi]

can u not at least email each other or talk on msn?

plus u gotta think of it from her point of view. u said her dad's not usually violent, but in this instance he hit her. she must be so scared of hime now, and petrified that if he finds out about u he'll hit her again. i know it's unfair, but if you really care about her then u need to understand that, for her own good, you can't talk to her right now.

if the feelings between you are real then everything will resolve itself eventually, and plus you said her mum knows about you, which means that if she likes you, it'll be easier for her dad to accept you when the time comes to tell him.

unfortunately this won't help you going crazy from not beign able to talk to her, but just try and see things from her point of view.

[Mukul]

Originally Posted by ][D ][ ][V][ ][D

been with a gyal for 18months now. both at same uni, practically live together, her mum and my mu know about it. everythins was all good, few arguements (all r'ships do). she went back home fr summer, it was her mates bday n she was havin a house party. my gal went to it, told her dad she'd be 5mins, just to drop a card off. she ended up stayin for a few hours, dad was callin her fone but was apparently switched off when she coulda sworn it was on. she got home, dad started switching, calling her a $lag, $lut etc and he hit her. he's not usually this type of guy.
now my gals propa shocked by it, says she don't wanna be in an r'ship until her dads ready for her to have a boyfriend which is this time next year when she graduates. obviously i love this gal ALOT,i was tellin her that it can't go out like this, we've been through alot together. i'm goin away soon on holiday and she said she wants her space from me until then. and then once i get back she'll have a decision of wether or not she wants this r'ship to continue.

i find it soooo hard not talking to her, it's only been about 4days and im goin through major depression, throwing up, not eating or sleeping. even then i still txt her n call her but then she'll remind me that we shouldn't be tlking.

what the fcuk do i do??
how can i get her back??

dude i feel ya best thing is leave it as mates for the time being and time is the best healer, go away on holiday and try and relax but i know it is hard to relax when you are feeling like u been in a ring with mike tyson, But do enquire about her well being even if she doesn't reply and if she feels the same way u feel about her she will learn to understand that u care for her simply by the fact that she knows u care for her, Good Luck dude and i hope u get yr yat back!

[Magnifique]

Hmmm... that's hard. As much as you want her, you're going to have to give her space.

She's obviously seen some reality here with her Dad possibly not accepting you and obviously doesn't want to go through a similar experience of name-calling and physical abuse.

She's bound to be confused and sort of have the "i need space" attitude. Thats understandable. I'm sure you understand that, but are finding it hard to accept.

You're due to go on holiday soon, go... have as good of a time as you can. Take this time (from now until you get back) as breathing space. Not just for you, but for her as well. This is just a hurdle in what may be a long-term relationship, so deal with it correctly if you want it to progress further.

I fully understand both your situations and honestly, all i can suggest is the space she needs. Don't take that as space away from you to weaken your relationship, but space to strengthen it and for her to be 100% sure she wants this and in turn tell her dad which if he accepts, will make it better.

Tell her how you feel.. tell her you miss her and love her (if you do) and that you're willing to wait for her (if you are) so that you guys can be happy again. She needs support right now, and anything but that will drive her away.

As for your heealth, a holiday seems the best option for you. Don't tell her what its doing to you because that will only increase the pressure. If you make her feel that you can overcome anything, then she will come back in good time.

Good luck and if you need anything, i'm a pm away.

Btw, don't go on holiday to run from your problems, rather make it clear what you want to do to her beforehand, then go on holiday to rejuvinate yourself and enjoy a much-needed break.

[anny]

Originally Posted by Bengali4Life

mate all you can do is give her time and her own space....I am really sorry to hear about her dad hitting her. Just remind her that you are still waiting and wont give up. I know the feeling about being in love with someone and the other person want there own space....If its meant to be then just give it some time
Another thing just do other things like chill with your guy mates and go out and have fun with them like playing pool, going clubbing so that way you can get her out of her mind....But do text or call her once in a while so she knows you are thinking about her. Good luck mate, I know it will be hard but she give it some time

I'm sorry to hear bout it too, but Sani is rite. U have to respect her decision, she mite be a bit confused at the moment, and it mite be that she needs to sort this out herself. Just let her know that you are there for u if she needs you, which im sure u have already done. I know it must be killing you, cuz i've been in kinda the same position, but just trust her on this..
Dnt put urself through what u are doing at the moment, i mean if ur girl found out, she would only get more upset? Make sure u look after yourself, and keep yourself occupied, and be strong for her.

[Miss Patel,aka Pimp]

mate im really sorry to hear that!
cant imagine wat its like!
the best think i can say is cos u love this girl ur gona have to give her time!
jus wait until u come back frm holiday and hear wat she has to say and take it from there!
at the same time try to get on with ur life!
i can imagine it must b hard but u dont no how ur gna feel after ur holiday!
and im sure ur gna have xam resits to concentrate on!
lolz!
jus keep busy!
x

[Suga_Mani««º³]

i dont know sorri but that really made me sad

hope it works out 4 u somehow

[Beautiful Princess]

maybe you do need some time apart. I know its so hard not to pick up the phone and just call her all the time and hear their beautiful voice to make you feel better but you should try to resist. If you feel the need to text, then by all means do but DO NOT SEND IT. Type it and save it. Also try to keep your phone upstairs and keep yourself busy. She'll appreciate you more for understanding her situation and staying away. Just think about how amazing it will be when you get back from holiday and she tells you "thankyou for being so understanding, i really love you for that".

[Amish]

Damn bro, that's a tough break. Sorry about that.. It is really REALLY hard to just let go like that, especially if you've been with the girl a long time and become attached.

What it sounds like to me is that your girl is basically shocked/scared of how her father has reacted, and wants to cool things to save you and her grief. I mean I'm sure you wouldn't want her to risk getting in more trouble if you both sneaked behind her dad's back.

She needs her own space right now to sort things out in her head and when she has done that, I bet you guys will be back together.

In the mean time, I know it will be difficult, but try not to call or txt her for a little while. Let things cool down and her to sort her issues with her dad out.

Good luck buddy and you'll be back together soon enough.

[keepinitreal]

shag her without a rubber, she'll be back on your doorstep in no time, maybe a bit heavier than before but hey she'll be back..

[Ness]

i think ur being selfish..

if u really loved her you'd understand how difficult it is for her n want the best for her.. after all ur just some bloke.. her family is far more important..

do as she sez.. give her time n space.. if things are still the same when she's ready.. then go for it again.. but for now.. just accept it..

love's not everything.. there are far more important things in life.

deal with it... besides.. now that big brothers back on.. shud be easier to occupy urself..

[Tyrone Biggums]

Originally Posted by keepinitreal

shag her without a rubber, she'll be back on your doorstep in no time, maybe a bit heavier than before but hey she'll be back..

lol, but truely like every1 sayin u gotta give her space, cos it looks like she's worried what the consequences would be if her father found out about you, as her just staying at a party caused such commotion, best to go on holiday, try to clear your mind, not all is lost, all she want's is some time to herself, be optimistic that does not mean your relationship is over.

[sexykuri4u]

You no what I am in the same situation, best thing you can do is let it go, give her space,don't contact her, its gona be hard, but this is something you got to do, you just got to be strong, and chill out, go on holiday it will do you good, it will help you to clear your mind, and if its mean't to be everything will fall in to place.

[* Twinkle *]

thats sad,me and my man went on a break awhile back(his idea) and i left him too it, it was hard but he soon relaised what he wanted...she just wants to sort her head out. just try to keep yourself busy and look after yourself...hope it all wokrs out in the long run.x

[cute_geeza]

the possible outcomes:

she decides to be with you

or

she might decide not to be with you because of family... if it is this option then at least you can look back and smile cos you know the time you were with her made you smile and memories are priceless

[sexc_shawry_oh4sho]

my advice - dont chase replace

[cute_geeza]

Originally Posted by sexc_shawry_oh4sho

my advice - dont chase replace

chase her becuase you know shes worth it, dont replace her because she isnt treatin you like sh!t

[xXxNUFFLOVExXx]

keep urself busy, keep ur mind busy... give her the space she wants and put it this way- if its meant to be then it will work out...

things get worse before they get better but they do get better, jus concentrate on other things... but just remind her now n then that ur there and u love her...

good luck, hope it works out

[][D ][ ][V][ ][D]

Originally Posted by sexc_shawry_oh4sho

my advice - dont chase replace

i fully abused that moto when i was a minor (i didn't start of wit my username for no reason) and one day u'll matture and find a guy that u don't wanna run away from and u'll find it hard to replace. but thats a long time yet.

spoke to her today, all is good, i got some heavy advice of a certain somebody yesterday (u know who u r) and i basically told my gal how i felt about her n that im gonna be the "back-bone" of the relationship and support her for when she needs it. fingers crossed that we get it back on when i get back from holiday.